The Mouth, Man Flu and Man Boobs

I've been reading Mike the Mouth's Book 'Check raising the Devil' and have to admit I can't put it down. I've always thought of Mike Matusow as a truly gifted player who lets himself down with the drugs and other bad habits available to someone with pots of money. The book sets the record straight, and if it's all true then it would appear he's been naive to the point of stupidity, and getting locked up was the kick in the nuts he needed to survive.

I've had a cold for two weeks now and I'm starting to think it was pig flu. I felt like shit for two days then like a wet fart for the rest of the time. Needless to say I've not been playing much online and live poker has been off the radar. I'm desperate to get back into it but it will have to wait, as despite my boss saying 'You'll never get it' I've just had a five grand budget given to me at work and will be working loads in the next few weeks.

My trusty computer chair is on it's last leg(s). The enormous weight of my moobs is just too much for it. Any day now it will give up and I'll go crashing into my CAFC signed shirt head first. To be fair to the chair it's the wife's fault, she loves to sit on my lap while I play poker. 30 Stones of blubber is too much for any chair.

Anyway I'm enjoying reading all your blogs on my list, keep up the good work!

A Step Back in Time

As I mentioned before Party Poker very kindly gave me $50 to get me playing again. I've been playing $11 Double or nothing speed tourneys for a bit of instant gratification, and it's just like playing online poker at the start of the poker boom. The players are so fishy it stinks! Even the table with nine 'Russian Federation' players who were clearly in the same room were taken to the cleaners. I don't know if it's the fact that the players are terrible, or me playing some great poker, but I'm winning and it feels good! Even my rotten cold has taken a back seat to my poker glory. I'm $62 up today which pays for the huge curry I just had. I'm having a beer....Good luck all!

Two days later....

Back to 2009 and I haven't won a game for ages. Looks like my blast to the past was short lived, and I'm the fish again. 'Pride before a fall' was never more accurate! At least I've cleared my Party Poker bonus and have a totally free hundred quid to put towards my new PC.

Not Quite Unwell Enough

I fought off a cold for weeks, but finally succumbed to the virus on Thursday. I felt like shit but it wasn't bad enough to go sick (I hate being off sick when I'm unwell, it seems like such a waste). With that in mind I was at work over the weekend and did just about nothing at all.

The other day Party Poker very kindly stuck $50 on my dormant account which I spun upto $150 on a 0.25/0.5 NL table in an hour. A mad German bluff monster just kept blowing his roll to me (in any other situation apart from poker that would sound quite nasty). I love it when a plan comes together.
I used the $150 to play a few $11 double or nothing games on Party and I have about the same amount. I've got 55 days to get a load of points or they'll take the $50 off me so I might be looking for a heads up game in early November with someone who has a Party account.... oh if you haven't got a Party account click the link to the right and sign up! (Sorry I couldn't resist)

I'm having a well earned day off work tomorrow. Hopefully the sun will come out and my taste buds will be working again for the London Pride.

Horse, Wind and Fire

I took the wife to a home game last night where the host repeatedly gets the structure of his tournaments wrong. He hates playing crapshoots so if you bust out early you spend the next three hours listening to his annoying wife questioning every single poker rule going. We started with 1500 chips and 20 minute blinds which started at 1 & 2! Add to that we spent the first hour talking about work and we were in for a long night. I had terrible wind so at least I had something to entertain me, especially as I don't think shitting your pants every few minutes is allowed in their house.

Needless to say I bust out with top pair/ kicker when the host had aces, but the tourney was only ten quid and the wife took it down so we made a profit.

If I thought the Hold 'em tourney was slow then I was in for a treat - we spent the next three hours playing a HORSE tourney. This would have been a pleasurable new experience but for the fact that every rule had to be explained multiple times, and I was getting drunk. I just sat there and noisily farted before bubbling and going home.

Expect The Unexpected

I'd finished my exam today and was on the train just about to nod off when I noticed a bird who was wearing a vest top and one of those short cardigan type tops that looks like it's shrunk in the wash. She took off the cardigan in a hurried fashion and I thought 'Oi Oi what's all this then?' (as you do). Imagine my surprise when she took out a carrier bag and vomited so violently it hurt my ears. I hung around for a few seconds just to see the reactions of the other passengers, then got the hell outta there before that bag started a leakin'!
She got off at Bexleyheath by the way.

Is Anyone Having a Spot of Bother?

I just can't seem to get anything together anymore on the virtual felt. I used to cash 50% of the time in standard SNGs upto $20, now I don't play over $10 and I am leaking money every month. I think the problem is a combination of me not improving and players getting better because of software/books/coaching. I've tried playing tight aggressive, loose aggressive and even rocked up on a few occasions. It seems I'm stuck in a rut which can't be a downswing - it's gone on too long. Maybe I should stick with the Wii and get my Wii face on (it's just like a jizz face without the clearing up)

I'm not getting all depressed as this is entertainment to me, it's just nice to bloody win sometimes. Once I get my exam out of the way next week I'm making plans to get up to the International, The Empire and maybe even heading down to the 'G' in inbred Thanet for the GUKPT 100 quid side event. I've got a home game to go to on Saturday where we're playing a HORSE tourney, so I'll be swatting up on the more interesting poker variants this week and taking the Moss man down hopefully.

Back in The Room at Last

I've had a break from poker for a week or so due to a bad run and other commitments, however last night enough was enough and I loaded up PKR and Betfair and played a few speed tournaments. Whilst breaking even I realised that I still enjoyed playing online poker. I think the games are tougher these days so my profits are reduced, but I'm just a casual player anyway so profit shouldn't be my number one incentive to play. I've decided to make an effort to just enjoy playing, not be concerned with the beats or losses and see where that gets me. I will report on my P&L of course.

Miserable sod, that's the last book of yours I buy.