Good Old Doyle...

I'm sure Doyle won't mind me quoting his blog here. One of my things to do in Vegas this year is pin that man down for a photograph with me..

'The WSOP should have some kind of hygiene rule. I’ve sat next to players that make you want to gag. Perhaps they should have cards for everyone that signs up that say bathe at least once a day. A few of the dealers need the same advice also because if you are in the 1st or last seat, you are right up against them.'

'I’m going to bed early so I can get to the dentist in the morning. I’m watching a movie about the Japanese bombing Pearl Harbor and a question came to mind. Why do the kamikaze pilots wear helmets?'

Doyle you're a legend.

*************

I'm having a crack at the PKR Open tonight, I entered one of the lottery satellites for $2 and won my $20 entry by 'beating off' 150 players. 600 players, $2500 1st place should do very nicely to take to Vegas next week. I'm also playing a few cooler tournaments on Virgin, still trying to grind out my rakeback there, as I've got to generate 100 Euros before they'll pay me. Buggers.

*PKR Open Update* - I busted in 90th position, ten short of cash. I played OK although lost my bottle by folding in a three handed pot for all my chips with the third nut flush draw. When I say it like that it was probably a good laydown, although I would have made my draw and won. I finished even in the Virgin five Euro coolers which I can't complain about.

Off poker, I had a phone call from my old boss warning me off head hunting any more staff to my new team. I felt like giving him a mouthful as it was partially his fault I left, but I thought 'What's the point? It's Vegas in three days!' That place even helps my career...
I've just introduced my new team to the pleasures of Backgammon. They can all play but have no clue how to play the doubling cube. At the moment I'm 36-4 up in a 100 point game for forty quid with the sicko gambler on the team. I love easy money....

Grim Up North..

The saying is generally true. I can say that because my whole family come from 'Up North' and I've just got back from a weekend of cups of tea, beer and visits to family. I even met a few previously unknown family members, one of which was about 25 stone. No poker over the weekend as it would have been rude, although I did play a bit of cash on Stars on the train back as there was free Wi-Fi.

I'm counting the days until Las Vegas as always. The good thing is there aren't many days left!

The garden took a beating last night in a storm. One of my three cabbages was eaten by the wife and some greenfly (50/50, which I thought was fair) and the runner beans are being attacked by blackfly. The spuds are still being dug up and eaten but the peas never see the plate as I eat them straight away.

I'm hoping to go to the Empire this week with my work colleages to take it down for a nice score..

Drainage Wars - A Victory!

Letter to the neighbours :

'I wrote to you all on 12th June regarding the drain clearance company I had to call out that day, and the fact that, as we are all responsible, I would appreciate the four properties splitting the cost. Thankyou for the prompt payment number 6. I’ve not heard from numbers 8 and 9 XXXXX Road so I have to assume you’re unsure whether you have to split the cost of this shared problem. I’ve been in touch with XXX XXXX, the Civil Protection Manager of XXXXXX Council who said ‘With regard to obtaining contributions from your neighbours, they are legally liable and you can go to through the small claims procedure in the County Courts to recover the sums due to you.’ He also gave me an official letter which pretty much says what I said a week ago, but I’ve included it below anyway:
Sewer Blockages – XXXXXX Road
As you may be aware, I had to call out a drain clearing company on 12th June 2009 to clear a blockage in the private sewer that serves Nos. 6,7,8 and 9 XXXXX Road. Consequently an account for £60 has been sent to me.

The blockage occurred in the section of pipe through which all four properties drained, thus the pipe is owned in equal share by those properties. As one of those part owners, I should be pleased to receive a contribution of 15 (one fourth of the total) towards the account.

Settlement of the account is due immediately, so I would appreciate your contribution as soon as possible.

With that in mind, and in the interest of being good neighbours and not falling out over something so trivial, I’d appreciate payment of the fifteen pounds from each house promptly. If you once again ignore my letter, then on the next occasion a drain clearance is necessary I’ll be forced to go through the Council, who will order the work to be completed and back charge all houses at a greatly increased rate. That rate may be more like eighty pounds each as opposed to fifteen and will be legally enforceable by the Council through the County Court. I hope you’ll agree in the long run it’s easier to do this the civilized way.'

One hour after that letter was delivered they came marching up to my door, money in hand, and paid up like puppies who'd been told off. The pen really is mightier than the sword!

Not a Bad Beat Story

I was playing in a pretty boring cash game in The Empire the other day. The table talk was less than exciting until a bloke said that we’d never guess what happened to him the previous night. I’d just gone through the blinds or else I’d have been out of there because this I didn’t want to hear. I’m glad I stayed. He said he was having a few drinks at the bar and the lady beside him engaged him in conversation. She said she was 67 years old and hadn’t had sex since she lost her husband six years ago and asked him if he was interested. He said she didn’t look too bad for her age but he politely declined her kind offer saying that he was a little tired and maybe some other time. As he got up to leave she asked if he’d be interested in a mother and daughter thing. He forgot he was tired and said he’d be quite happy to give it a go. They went to her room, she opened the door and shouted “Mom, I’ve got one!”

The Turbo King & Clive Sinclair

Alas 'The Turbo King' does not refer to me - it's a title a player at The Empire gave himself last night when he decimated my stack with his A8 vs my AQ when he hit an 8 on the river. This particular player is your typical gobby youngster who does OK at the small tournies, but most of what comes out of his mouth is pure boll*cks. I usually tolerate him as I know he'll overplay his Ace rag hands and I'll get some chips off him but last night he went on and on about his A8 so I lost it for a moment and told him 'I don't give a f*ck.' etc etc. I told him he wouldn't wind me up but he already had. I've got to get smarter and be calm at the table otherwise people will take advantage.

Anyway I came 13th out of 27th in the crapshoot for no money, but at least I met the Inventor of the Sinclair Spectrum Sir Clive Sinclair! He plays at the Empire loads and is a very respectable gent. I didn't mention the Sinclair C5 for obvious reasons...

Mexican Wave

I just asked my wife 'Where do you think the Mexican wave originated?' After a pause for thought she offered the completely serious response..... 'Wimbledon?'
What do you say to that?

Not Too Much Poker Going On

There's been a few things going on which have prevented me playing as much poker as I'd have liked over the last week or so. I've achieved my latest bonus on PKR which is nice, and I'm still trying to crack out as much rake as possible on Virgin so they'll pay me my rakeback soon. I'm hoping to get up to the Empire next week for a bit of action, but I'll stay off the 1/2 NL as I am rubbish at it. I'm still looking forward to Vegas and checking out the Niagra poker action first, and railing Jimbo in the WSOP.

On the gardening front the peas are fattening up, potatoes are being eaten and the spring onions are getting there (sorry).

The Empire Donk Fest...

I took my new colleagues up The Empire last night for the hairy crapshoot. The wife came too which which worked out very well. The boys enjoyed the tournament and we had a great night.
There wasn't too much to say about my poker, I busted out when my AQ couldn't hit against Jacks, and I lost 80 quid on 1/2 NL when my AQ hit top pair on the flop and I overplayed it against someone with aces - bugger.

The good news is that the wife tore the place up and got heads up with one of my colleagues (Meatball). They chopped it for 520 each which means as a couple we were 320 quid up on the night, 300 after expenses. I love the fact that the wife cashes all the time as it subsidises her part time income, but it's a bit embarrassing as I'm the 'big player' who plays online every day and has played at the WSOP.... I should stake the wife all the time and go and play Keno, I might make more money!

Good luck to Jimbo and Amatay out there in Vegas, I'll be out there to see the last few tables of the Main Event and do some star spotting. Not long to go now!